Balancing a Bare Bodkin
by Juliane Honisch, December 2001

Sometimes she feels like Hamlet
On the brink of a decision she can't take
Subdued by all the guilt she gathers round her like a warming shawl
Sometimes she scolds herself
And watches her reflection in a shop window
Asking herself who is this problem riddled image facing her

She's seen the ghost at night
He's wandered from the stage and from the pocket book
Into her room to smile at her, to stroke her cheek and kiss her hair.
His presence in her mind,
She does protest too much that she's so very happy
For he fills that empty spot in that far corner of her heart

And yet and yet and yet
Her happiness does not show in her face at all
Haggard she looks and hunted, haunted by her strictly honest soul
To be but understood
She will explain for hours about her love and life
Explaining inexplicables but first and foremost to herself.

To change will break her heart
She thinks, she feels, she knows and knows she must
Yet she must change and has decided to do so just not right now.
Tomorrow and tomorrow
In time to ward off Rosenkrantz and Guildenstern
And Fortinbras who'll come to wish her a good night and guarded rest.